Assalamualaikum sayang..the reason that i wrote this letter (kind of) is that, that day...yang saya cakap ada something yang saya harap awak faham pasal saya...that thing that u’ll know someday...i wanna tell u bout that...ok...let me start this....hurm....awak tau kan...dari awal2 lagi saya cerita kat awak semua pasal saya....every single thing....right? thats bcos i hope u accept me the way i am n who i am in the first place.....without i need to hide anything from u... and after that, u did accept me...and it’s okay.....and then i bring u to my house.....to see the place where i live, my most important persons in life...awak tau x kenapa saya wat semua tu??saya buat semua tu sebab saya harap awak boleh kenal family saya and everything about me...coz i know we need time to adapt with each other’s background rite?? i think if i do that earlier,, u will make yourself adapt with my family faster so that in the end, we will have nothing to fear of..i have nothing to afraid of...after i see how well u go on and mix with my family, i’m not terrified anymore from losing u as that my mom did liked u, my sis definitely love u too, my dad has no point that he don’t like u and my tok as well okay with u ....so, i suppose that u get it that i do all these bcos i really2 care about u and us and i did not want anything that will come between us...at least not from my family as they loved u and really okay with u....
Okay....the thing that really did something to my mind...the thing that i think u need to know why i always been such crazy and always merajuk with u....do u remember when u said to me that u need to go out with ur parents and have a makan petang together? saya ada cakap kan, i mean in my msg to u that did sound something like this,,have fun and kem salam kat diorang k...i know, maybe that doesn’t mean anything to u....just like another usual teasing from me...but i mean it ok.....ya, despite of i’m teasing u, don’t u understand me?? i know that i seems like always pressuring u when it comes to things like this.....about the facebook, i mean that time that we used to argue and u did ask me to choose whether between u and those status in fb yang xbermakna pown tu kan...yeah i know, bagi awak semua tu xde makna sebab yang lagi penting is that awak sayang saya and saya tau tu.....tapi saya buat semua tu sebab saya nak indirectly that ur family and friends to realise my existence in ur life.....i know that pressures u bcos we have had talk about it before n agrees to say nothing again as ur mom don’t like u to involve in such matter like this that we have now.....
But u know what, this indeed matters to me.....it hurts me that every second i’m away from u, especially like now, i am afraid of losing u.....i mean, don’t u understand me??u and me are completely different...i’m just an ordinary person from an unknown family....but u.., everybody loves u....ur juniors from mrsm, teachers and indeed people around u....they really liked u,u know.....and it kinda hurts me coz i realise how fragile i am to our relationship and u when every moment and second, i’m afraid that i’ll lose u.....well, nobody barely knows anything about me right.....at least ur family don’t know me.....macam mana kalo mak awak suka a girl and wants u to be with her for the rest of ur life??ur mom xsalah sebab dia xtau pown pasal saya kan...and that terrifies me.....awak xmungkin nak tinggalkan mak awak for me kan??thats impossible....saya tau....mengarut kan saya tulis benda2 macam nie??tapi serius, i’m afraid.....benda macam nie yang saya nak elakkan.....atlis kalo saya buat status tu, some people will know that u’re mine and will restrain themselves from liking u.....i don’t know....i just hope that ur family knows something about me and they will understand....
Saya faham kalo awak xnak involve lagi benda2 macam nie.....but please understand me....i really need to know whether ur family can accept me or not...bcos i don’t want when the moment comes that i really falls for u, ur family has other options for u....just let me know if ur family doesn’t like me, i can totally back off....i just need to know that sooner...sorry if i’m being selfish about this coz i really liked u and i hope that nothing will come across our relationship....i’m sorry for being too serious this time....just for u to know, u are the first guy ever that i bring home to meet my parents and family and u’re the first person that i don’t hesitate to tell anyone that i love u if they asks me about us....okay, i lied that bcos i’m a shy person i won’t admit if anyone asks that....but u meant so much to me....sorry again for this stupid letter....sorry bcos it is too long to read.....u must be bored to death to read this......just, the main thing that i really2 appreciate it if u would done the thing it is that let me know if we are, by any means not meant for each other......just tell me....in case ur mom had someone better for u....i’ll be torn but its normal....i’ll be okay i think.....sorry for bothering u again........really sorry.....i hope u understand........
Sincerely, -me-
p/s :
*u don’t have to do anything.....i just wanted to tell u what’s on my mind....i’m sorry for doing this dear....ily...
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